Jack Of All Trades: Chapter 1 - The Beginning
by MisterTrade
Summary: Jack is a young man with little back-story, amnesia, and a strange condition which causes him to leap from different dimensional plains seemingly at random. Jack Of All Trades follows Jack as he does the only two things he can think of while exploring his inexplicable new ability: adapt and survive.


Hello, anybody and everybody! My name is MisterTrade, and I will be writing a collection of short stories centered on a protagonist named Jack Trade among other shorter stories and one-shots. Not a birth name, of course, but I guess you'll just have to read to find out. Also, the first chapter is a bit slow, but I promise that it'll be more exciting in the future.

The story of our young protagonist is fairly unique to me in the sense that his stories will be a sort of pseudo-original work that dips in and out of various universes and creations, none of which are accredited to me.

If you have any questions towards the story, me, or anything at all, feel free to contact me on this site, my email which should be on my profile, or my tumblr blog. Thanks for reading!

-MisterTrade~

Jack Of All Trades: Chapter 1

_The Beginning:_

"_If you are to believe that there are an infinite amount of universes with an infinite amount of possible variations on the laws of nature, then you are forced to admit that it is quite certain that in one of these parallel worlds dragons exist."_

_Lewis N. Roe, From A To Theta: Taking The Tricky Subject Of Religion And Explaining Why It Makes Sense In A Way We Can All Understand_

"Jaaaack! Hurry up! We're gonna be laaate!"

"I know! One minute!" Jack yelled back. He hates yelling, yet somehow always gets pulled back into the unavoidable screaming matches which seem to accompany all members of his family. It seems to him that no matter what he does, where he goes, everything he tries always fails in the end. Recently he's been purposefully distancing himself from his family members in hopes of avoiding the usual bouts of inane noisy conflict. Foolishly, he thought this might actually work. In reality, at 6 A.M. he gets a call from his little sister asking him if he can drive her out of town for some sport interview (his head was foggier than usual). Luckily, he just so happened to have the day off. "Lucky me," Jack muttered under his breath, realizing that as he spaced out recollecting the previous 4 hours his younger sister was growing even further impatient.

Grabbing his jacket, he exited his bedroom and closed the door behind him. The ever familiar SCREEECH of his door reminding him yet again that he needs to get some WD-40 on his way home. Entering the foyer of his small two-bedroom suburban house, he is met with a big beaming smile on the face of his 18 year-old sister. Something told Jack that it wasn't very genuine.

"Ah, brother dear. You didn't have to rush yourself just for me. It isn't like we're in a hurry or anything." She batted her eyelashes overdramatically. Katherine was Jack's younger sister by 6 years. She looked exactly her age, except she stood abnormally tall at 5 feet and 10 ½ inches. It was for this reason that she seldom wore high heels. She has average brown eyes, pale and unblemished skin, and naturally reddish-orange hair which she has to brush for several minutes in the morning to avoid looking like circus clown-

"Don't even think about saying one of your snappy little remarks," Katherine snapped at her older brother. "I'm going to brush it on the ride there; I look like a clown." Jack wasn't going to say anything out loud at first. "Hey, don't talk too degradingly about clowns," Jack started. "It's not as easy a gig as you think. They have big shoes to fill…" The way the punch line was delivered, some people may think that it wasn't intentional at all. But Katherine knew her brother better than that. "You should have been born mute," was her only reply, although Jack could see her trying to hide a smile.

One hour spent driving in silence, until Jack finally opened his mouth. "So. I understand that this has something to do with soccer?" he asked hesitantly. Once Katherine gets in a bad mood, it's hard to get her out. She usuall- "Oh my GOD!" she interrupted his thoughts. Jack always found her lack of creativity when exclaiming things amusing. They way she always emphasizes certain words when she does cause him to chuckle to himself quite often. "Did you even LIS-TEN when I TOLD you this MORNING-UH!?" she continued. There was that last thing: the little "uhs" she adds to the final words when she's frustrated.

"I tried. I really did," Jack attempted to get his pleas in. "Keep in mind you woke me up at 6 in the morning on my first day off in who knows how long. Furthermore, you know how bad my sleep is."

"Oh my GOD, can you at least try not to sound like an ASS today-uh?" She seemed even more upset to Jack now. "Every SINGLE time I try to talk with you, you have that…" Katherine was struggling to keep her onslaught going. "That… That SMUG attitude about you! WHY-UH would you agree to drive me to my try-out IF you're only GOING to… To…" When she said 'to' it came out as 'tah.' "To PISS me OFF-UH!" Jack noticed she uh'd twice that time.

"Because I was trying to be nice." Jack stated simply. He wasn't trying to sound rude; he was unfortunately naturally monotonous in his way of speaking. Many perceive it differently. "You're acting a _tad_ unfair."

"Mom always said 'life isn't fair,'" retorted Katherine.

"Of course she did. Because that's something that mothers say. Right alongside 'if your friend jumped off a cliff would you?"

Somehow this made Katherine realize she was acting childish. "I'm sorry," she said simply. 5 minutes later came, "Thanks." The rest of the car ride was silent, except for "What do you want?" at a local Burger King, followed by, "Just tell her yourself."

After dropping his sister off at her soccer tryout at the University of Oregon (why green and yellow, of all colors wondered Jack, who learned that his sister had missed the initial tryouts due to the flu, and was able to convince the coach to give her a private session before practice), and then getting caught in the worst traffic he'd seen all week, he was currently sitting with his head on the steering wheel rubbing his temples in hopes of warding off another migraine. It didn't work. The incessant honking of all the drivers around him wasn't helping. He doubted it was helping anything. Jack was just about ready to merrily kick open his door, flip everybody off, and walk the rest of two hours (by drive) home. The opportunity was very soon quelled, however, when the car in front of him started to move.

"By Jesus Fucking Christ's bank account, it is about goddamn time!" he said out loud. His relief was very short lived, for as soon as he saw the cause of this traffic jam that came galloping out of left field (that was how Jack first thought of it), his eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and his heart sank.

He saw the #49 bus.

He saw what was left of the #49 bus.

He saw what remained of the bus his brother rides every day.

Jack was staring at what could not possibly be the #49 bus, for what he was looking at through the fairly clean windshield of his 1998 Toyota Corolla can only be described as an accident. A wreck. Upon further inspection, he revised his previous though. A _tragedy. _

The first thought that popped into Jack's head after he regained what little focus he started with that day (what day was it?) was hardly English. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what he said, but it sounded a whole lot like, "Holy baptized-lozenge shit." The second thought that entered Jack's head was simple, yet complicated. "Cody." _Cody, Thought_ Jack. _Cody rides the bus _(what number bus again?) _to his part-time job._

Cody was Jack's older, shorter, and smarter brother. He'd say more handsome, but he can't quite make the comparison. Cody definitely had more chiseled, stronger features (how strong is that, exactly? I can't remember, thought Jack.). His hair was darker (how darker?) than Jack's, and he had some of the most eccentric yet beautiful eyes; each eye was half turquoise, half light blue. Cody was an absolute genius, but lacked determination and motivation; therefore he skips between part-time jobs at universities and research centers, and rides the bus to get around.

_Rode the bus._

That one simple thought, that Jack could not even remember what it was, pushed him over the edge.

_We never had a real fight. Just bickered a bit._

Jack tore open the car door and ran outside, ignoring the protests and car horns that willed him back into his… Car (what kind of car was it?)

_We always got along so well._

He saw scraps of metal, burnt pieces of what may have been rubber, or anything else.

_We watched a movie every week as kids._

Frantically running through the wreckage, Jack noticed it was still warm, with little bits of known and unknown-to-him substances smoldering and crackling around him.

_Remember that one time when you two drove to the beach, just to have fun?_

#49 was barely readable on the back half of the was-bus, plastered right above "You're most reliable transport" and "Have a terrific day!" But that number meant nothing to Jack at the moment.

_For no reason. Just to have a great day._

Shards of what used to be buses or cars, chunks of concrete, burnt rubber, none of this meant anything to Jack right then. He was looking for bodies-

_Bodies._

Jack turned around a complete 360 degrees. Looking only at that unknown substance.

_Bodies. Burnt. _

Oh sweet fuck.

_Bodies. Burnt. Wreck._

Please, no.

_Bodies. Burnt. Wreck. Unknown._

Cody rode the bus early in morning (what time was it?) and everything seemed exceptionally bright and blurry to Jack.

_It could be his bus._

"Shut up!" Jack screamed at nobody, tears brimming in his eyes as he looked down and saw that strange, unknown substance. A small, cylindrical piece, fatter at one end, slightly thinner at the other. It was black from fire. A faint, sickly smell of something that smelt like burning hair. A small piece, just about as big as Jack's finger. A small piece, so dirty and grimy but still recognizable enough for Jack to see a ring around it. A small, smoldering piece, with a wedding ring.

Jack doesn't remember what happened after that.

He woke up in a hospital. They asked him questions. He said nothing. The man (age: ? height: 72 inches, weight: 156 lbs., name: John Doe, eyes: brown, hair: blonde) sat there in silence until he was told by nurse that he had visitors. In walked a short and very skinny blonde girl (who looked very much like the man called John Doe), the tall red head named Katherine, and a man who was slightly shorter than the red head with medium brown hair and alluring eyes.

"Hello, Jack," said the man with attractive eyes and masculine features. The man now named Jack replied. Two hours later, the man named Jack was discharged and drove home with his siblings.

It is now late afternoon, and Jack is in his small suburban house, lying on his queen sized bed with a cut on his foot and second-degree burns. Jack was told by his cheerful and gorgeous little sister Emily that he stepped on a piece of debris from a car the bus hit. He was told by his older brother Cody that he fell onto different debris that was still rather hot. Jack simply nodded to all of this, having to be told several times to remember. He ate soup and drank water (what was the soup?), and then simply stared across the room at nothing. His house was scarcely decorated. Few pictures adorned the walls, and a mirror in the bathroom and living room were about it. When the three siblings reentered the room, Jack greeted them.

"Up at last, huh JayJay?" asked his obvious sister Emily. "It appears so," replied Jack. "Feeling okay?" asked Cody, an uncertain look on his face. "Fine," Jack assured his brother in his usual monotone manner. "Something's wrong," proclaimed Katherine. "He's so dull and lifeless! Call the doc! We MUST fi- OW." Katherine was silenced by a swift elbow from Cody. "Shut up," he told her. After another small bout of bickering, they finally settled down again.

_Same shit as always, _thought Jack. "I am Jack's intolerance for bickering," he joked, successfully getting a chortle out of his brother. "Should've known the first thing you'd say on your own would be a one-liner. I'm only surprised it was a movie joke and not an original," Cody said in a trying-to-lighten-the-mood tone. "What movie?" Jack asked. Cody blinked, surprised, and then answered, "Fight Club, right?" Jack couldn't remember (what was that movie about?); his head felt cloudier than ever. So he simply said, "Oh."

"Oh," repeated Emily. "Wow, you really are out of it. Even _I _knew that one. Seriously you must be really…" her voice trailed off as both Katherine and Cody shot her a menacing 'be quiet right this instant or so help me' look. Jack giggled unknowingly, then stood up and started wobbling.

"Whoa! Easy there," warned Cody as he helped Jack steady himself. "Not too fast." Jack stabilized, and then thanked his brother. After popping and cracking nearly every joint humanly possible (to Katherine's dismay) and stretching his limbs, he asked where their parents were, which coaxed a scoff out of Emily. "Why don't ya ask Oz the Great and Powerful over here?" she almost spat out, gesturing at Cody.

_Here it comes, _thought Jack. _The inevitable screaming matches. _

Jack was right. "Now that's uncalled for, Emily," Cody turned to Jack. "I thought that, because you know how bad Mom has been doing recently, that we… Well, we shouldn't tell them about what happened." _Oh no. Please, whatever divine force, whatever bodiless presence, whatever big sky daddy may exist out there, please get me out of here! _In a way, his wish was granted.

When Jack came to 4 minutes later, his siblings were still fighting. "YOU are such an UNbelievable ASSHOLE-UH!" It appears Katherine joined in now. Jack was not lucky enough to space out again, and it was getting unbearable. "No, I'm right. Wait, I forgot! In your small little brain, 'asshole' and 'disagrees with me' means the same thing! My bad." Cody gave a sarcastic bow. "Real fucking mature," challenged Katherine. "Funny, coming from the girl who resorts to petty name-calling." Neither was giving any ground. Jack's head was swimming, and his tongue felt like cotton in his mouth. He couldn't move his jaw either. It felt like one of his usual migraines coming on, but also different somehow.

The fighting continued. Now Emily chimed in. "Don't give her that, Cody! After all, you stooped down to petty insults." Katherine thought that she was taking her side. More yelling, more screaming, and Jack couldn't speak. Just when what appeared to be the climax of the ensuing verbal battle was reached, Jack felt like his head split open.

"BE QUIET!" Jack finally yelled out, dazed and confused and in great pain. "All of you, just… SILENCE!" He never remembered yelling that loud before. Too many thoughts were rocketing about in Jack's head at that moment, and he couldn't pinpoint a single one (why were they fighting again?). He tried to turn to face his brother, but put too much weight on his bad foot and fell (why does my foot hurt?) into Cody instead. Or at least, where Cody should have been. He was gone. _Why is he gone? Where did he go? _Jack's mind couldn't keep up with his thoughts, and he was dizzy again. He looked up at his sisters- they were gone too. _Where did everyone go? Where the FUCK did everyone go? _

Realization slowly came over Jack as he lied on his floor (who was I yelling at?), except it wasn't his floor.

_They weren't gone, _thought Jack. _They didn't disappear. They're all exactly where they were- where they should be. I disappeared, _Jack realized gravely. _I'm gone._

The not-floor was some cold, hard metal that left him wondering if he forgot what his floor was. But it became clear as soon as he looked up, straight into the eyes of a small welsh corgi. Behind him- her? Behind it stood two men, one large, bald and muscular with a rather strange beard, the other skinnier with thick dark hair in a blue suit. There also stood a woman, not as tall with short dark hair and some strange yellow clothing the likes of which Jack had never seen. And they were all staring directly at him.

Memories flooded over Jack, every word, every event, and every little detail. Everything suddenly made sense to him. No, he didn't know where he was, why he was here, or who these people are. No, instead, his head cleared. His mind opened.

Jack remembered everything.


End file.
